Q: My gf's mother has been "coming on" to me lately....in a sexual way. What is she thinking since she knows I'm in a relationship with her daughter?
A: Very interesting. There are two answers to this question. The first and most obvious reason that comes to my mind is she's testing you. The second is that she's really after you (which I doubt). It's natural for parents to be a little crazy when it comes to their daughters and their boyfriends. That being said, I suggest you ignore it and attempt to dodge any type of awkward confrontation between you and her. Chances are your girlfriend is aware of what she's doing as well. I hope this helped!
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Q: ​So I'm currently a college student who hasn't been in a relationship in over a year. I was in a long distance relationship and got dumped. My situation now is that I'm realizing that I again have feelings for a prior ex. We have a great relationship and all and I kind of want to get back together with her. However, I don't want to bring it up to her because I want to salvage the friendship we have and to top it off she isn't really into expressing her emotions. I would enjoy being in a relationship with her but I also want to explore what my school has to offer. I'm not too crazy about another long distance relationship and would honestly enjoy some time to "hoe around" at school. Or better yet find someone there. However, I don't want to miss out on a good thing with her, because I feel like she's ready to be in a relationship now that we're older. What do I do?
A: Good question. In my opinion, I think you should give it time. This doesn't mean drop the friendship with your ex. A post-relationship friendship is actually GREAT (If you know how to handle it). Go to school and see what other women have to offer. You may find someone better! However, don't try to force yourself back into a relationship that didn't work to begin with. Now, you said you were "dumped," meaning she decided to leave the relationship alone for her own reason(s). That being said, I would give her time to figure out what she wants. Bringing it up to her might be a little too much pressure on her end and will probably make things a little awkward. Like you said, you don't want to miss out on a good relationship. There is nothing wrong with taking a breather post-relationship. It's healthy and as unconfortable as it may be within the first year, YOU NEED IT! Use it to grow and figure out what and/or who you do and don't need in your life. I wish you the best of luck!
Q: I have been single since I left the womb. I always wondered how would it be I were in a relationship but I don't think my personality is considered "dating material." Being an introvert, I'm a quiet and reserved person and not very "outgoing." Suggestions?
A: Ok first of all, there's no such thing as not having a personality that's "dating material." If that's who you are you should embrace it and so should someone you are interested in dating. I am a firm believer in the fact that there is someone out there for everyone. However, there are some tweaking you can make when it comes to you being an introvert.
1) You've got to put yourself out there.
I take it you are very shy. Try having friendly and frequent conversations with people you already know. Breaking out of your shell and meeting new people is going to be a challenge, but practicing with people you already know is a great start.
2) You don't have to be extremely outgoing to find someone. 9 times out of 10, there's someone else out there just like you.
I would also suggest online dating as a method. Many couples that come from online dating sites are pretty successful. Moreover, I suggest you work on coming out of your shell just a little bit. You don't want to fade into the background and go unnoticed, especially if you are ready to date. I hope this helps. Good luck!
Q: I am a freshman college student who has just started his freshman year. I grew up in a private christian high school, I am a virgin, and I have only had one relationship with a girl. I am very ignorant to anything about girls,sex an how to even begin talking to them. I have been in college for two weeks now and I have been talking to this girl. She is very social and talks to a lot of guys. When I am with her she seems very nice and funny but I am not sure I fully trust her because of what I hear from my friends. I hear that she talks to a lot of guys and I hear that is a bad thing. We have kissed and she says I'm the only one she has really done anything with but I still don't trust her. I am not look for a relationship I'm looking for answers. I don't want to get wrapped up with this girl if she is with a million guys but I would like to have sex with her regardless if I can. I am tired of every thinking I am innocent. Which leads to another question I have. How do I begin getting rid of my virginity? Thank you your answer is greatly appreciated.
A: Very good question and I'm glad you came to a female for advice. First, if your gut is telling you that something isn't right about the female you are associating yourself with, you're probably right. Don't underestimate your instict or what other guys are telling you. If that many people are telling you that she's been around, chances are there's probably some truth to that accusation. Now if you want to be really sure, ask some of your platonic female friends about her (preferably girls that aren't her friends). Now, if they can agree with what your guy friends are telling you, I'd keep my guard up. Based on the things you've told me, you should probably take everything she says with a grain of salt. Now, if you'd like to have sex with her regardless, be weary. Make sure you don't get attached and BE SAFE (since she may not be so honest). Also, just because you haven't had sex doesn't make you so innocent. If you don't want people to think this, don't showcase your virginity. At the end of the day that's your business. When it comes to losing your virginity, it should come natually. Don't feel the need to rush into it and get hurt, or hurt someone else. If you feel a connection with the girl and she feels a connection with you, things will work out perfectly. I hope this helps. Good luck!
Q: I heard once that if you say you truly love someone, you must be able to explain every reason off the top of your head as to why immediately after saying so with little hesitation. I met a girl I truly love….On a spiritual, emotional, physical, but most importantly, on a true friendship level. Our friendship has grown so much in only about a year and she has been the single most important female friend I’ve ever had in my life. We chat like best friends for years all the time, make each other smile more than anyone else, come to each other’s events, make music together…everything. The most important thing she taught me that I can now carry with forever is that, unknowingly, she taught me how to love myself, now and forever, something that no one in my life on this earth has been able to do. I will always revere her for this. There was a time when I was completely infatuated with her to the point where I wanted to date her or something of the like. However, analyzing the time and how important she was to me, I put my typical tendencies on hold for the first time, wanting her eternal friendship more than I wanted her physically. Our relationship to present day has grown to a level in which I put it above many things in my life now, without pursuing her sexually. My reason being…I don’t want to ever lose her because I wasn’t a mature boyfriend or I screwed up really bad, making us breakup and ruining what we had. It’s a fear that has actually made things better than I imagine, and I treat all women in a way better fashion, even upon first greetings, because of this one girl. This level has been fine to me and will be until the day when I am financially, spiritually, and emotionally fortified to approach her as the best (name) I can be. However, the game has changed. I think…and if my intuition is correct…that she’s starting to physically feel the same way for me and much as she is emotionally attracted to our bond. I’ve begin to notice many ‘signs’. Her hugs are tighter and more intimate than usual, her face keeps getting closer to mine (like cheeks touching intimately) and whenever she spots me wherever I am on campus, she seeks me out with the sweetest voice and takes time to stop whatever’s she’s doing and give me a conversation. She’s always been there for me, but I’m afraid now if she wants us to go the next level. My immature, rash self wanted this for us because then, and even now, I would give her the entire world. I would follow the advice that YOU put on your homepage of your sight, everything. What’s going through her head? Does she want to up the level a bit and make me ask her to be her boyfriend or at least attempt to date her? Please help. My fear of losing her is getting to me, I don’t feel comfortable asking her friends because I am almost certain they will relay all of my feelings back to her and that can be catastrophic…and my folks/friends wouldn’t understand since they already know me personally and would probably push me towards being in a relationship with the one person I desire over all other suitors. What do you think? What’s going through her head?
A: WOW. This really touched me. I think it's exellent that you have taken the time to really get to know her on a personal level and not just physical. Which brings me to ask, what are you waiting for? GO FOR IT! Based on what you've told me about her signs, I can imagine that she has feelings for you too. Since you two are close friends, you know her well, and you would know if she was a flirt. So, if she's not a serial flirt and she's showing you this type of attention, I would definitely make a move. It seems to me that she's discretely showing you the signs. Women don't flirt with the best friend if we aren't remotely interested. Nor will she ever come out and say she's interested if she's not sure how you're feeling. You need to sit her down, gently, and share with her how you feel. Tell her everything you just told me (NOT ALL AT ONCE). She deserves to know! Slowly show her signs. Take her out. Tell her she looks beautiful. Keeping in your feelings will only build up frustration within the both of you and ruin the friendship faster than a relationship ever could. I bet she's just waiting for you to be upfront and say the words. Now if I were you, I wouldn't throw the big L word out there just yet. You don't want to scare her. Start with "I like you". Let her know there's something there a little deeper than a plationic friendship BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES. I hope this helps. Stay in touch and good luck!
Q: How do you tell a girl how you feel?
A: The best way to tell a girl how you feel is to be 100% straight forward and honest. Women spend entirely too much time analyzing what we think he meant to say because he wasn't straight forward enough with it. If you like her, TELL HER YOU LIKE HER. Say those exact words. There'e not need to sugar coat or tell the half truth. That only leads to confusion on both ends.
Q: Hello, there is this girl that I have feelings for at Spelman. Her and I are just friends for now and we have a strong bond with each other. There is just one problem. I don't really get to see her that much because she is just a very busy person or she does not get out that much. I want to text her to see if she has free time, but sometimes I don't want to seem like a nuisance to her texting her a lot. She text me sometimes, but I just want to tell her in reality how I feel about her face to face. I am taking it slow with her and I want to just be more than friends. I think she has feelings for me too, but I feel like she is holding her feelings in for me. I have confidence to tell her how I feel about her, but I just wanted to see what you're opinion is on this real-life situation I am in currently?
A: There's a trick to making sure you're not bugging a girl when it comes to text messages. Please refer to the do's and don'ts. Two-Three consecutive unreplied texts means she's not interested. Any more than that is boarderline clingy. If she is really "busy" she will find time to reply. If she does respond and it's really short answers that lack substance, it's time to fall back. Trust me, we (women) all have time to look at our phones and give the time of day to the guy we are most interested in. After that is established, be patient. I know college schedules can be pretty hectic. Try not to nag. Let her know you understand she's busy but you, being her close friend, would like to spend at least a minimal amount of time with her. Try going out of your way to schedule something without her knowing about it first. Call her on a Sunday and say "we are going to do _______". Don't ask her. TELL HER! She's need a break from all her hard work. I hope this helps. Keep in touch :)